Tuesday, January 06, 2015

In a dream for 10 days and now finally back.

6th jan 2015, Full moon in cancer conj natal  mars in cancer, 1st h, t sq tip.

The day before I end my long stay in Penang and make my trip back to kl, I had a furious dream. So angry, I remember so vividly. It left a strong impression on my mind that I have such prominent, buried, suppressed anger in me. I dreamt that I scolded my heart out at my maid. Current maid? A new maid? Unsure. I screamed at her many things that I never did in reality as I tried to be "humane". This is actually a reoccurring dream. I had this many times. Something urgent never get addressed. But this time with the full moon in cancer just highlighted the issue. Even though I haven't reached home. I still had a dream w Such strong intensity.

Later that I was pondering over my fury. It surfaced suddenly. It is v clear that I found myself a clear mirror. Such strong projection that others easily can become the scape goat. What does that indicate? Suddenly I received an insight, when I open up my heart for it. My maid re enforced such dis organise lazy character in me!  She enlarge the perspective. Imagine, one person goes messy, u can blame it on the kids. And now w a specially hired domestic helper is still messy, it just doubly highlight my disability in such matter. Unable to lead in my domestic scene. I couldn't accept this "sleeping away" character in me. On the other hand I can be v hard n strict on myself. 

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